Working on TTD with my GTB

Hello, wedding fans!  I'm reporting live after a super fun, totally productive weekend with my groom-to-be (or, in wedding planning parlance, my "GTB").  Here are some things we've scratched off the ol' TTD list lately:

- Further negotiations with the caterer

- Visiting our reception venue to work out logistics

- Opening a joint banking account (this is a big one!)

- Getting estimates from local bakers (and sampling their wares!)

- Negotiating with local hotels for out of town guests

- Planning decor and DIY projects

- Nailing down a wedding budget

Phew!  I get tired just re-reading all of that.  The good news is my wedding mags no longer seem to be telling me "You're hopelessly behind schedule and will never make it in time and the whole thing could fall apart at any moment!!!"  Now they're just telling me "You're hopelessly behind schedule!"  I can live with hopelessly behind schedule.

Aside from the new progress on our to-do list, the other major wedding planning news is that I've discovered wedding classified sites.  They're brilliant!  Sites like weddingbee.com and thenest.com have great message boards that let brand new wives work with soon-to-be brides to sell gently used wedding things for cheap.  It's my new addiction, and, I hope, the key to our budget wedding success.

Wish us luck!

  

She's Baaa-aaack!

Hello, wedding fans!  Let's be honest.  Raise your hand if you thought I wasn't going to post again now that I'm not doing it for a grade.

Really, that many of you?  

In my defense, I've been quite busy with work, school, and a little thing called love. Even wedding planning has taken a back seat these past few weeks.  My wedded friends reassure me that it's normal for the planning process to be sort of a roller coaster with a lot of action and a lot of downtime.  I'm happy to listen to them rather than to my bridal mags, which will have me believe I'm doing a horrible job if I eat, breathe, or sleep anything other than WEDDING.

(To be fair, though, wedding stuff really is all I want to eat, breathe, and sleep.)

Despite the lull, my wonderful groom and I have managed to tick a few things off the list.  We've started sending out Save the Date announcements in batches (I know, I know, I wasn't supposed to have the kind of guest list that required "batches"), planning the reception, and getting organized.  We've also made a wedding website, the URL of which I don't feel like advertising to the blogging world, but I'll be happy to send to you privately!

We have plenty of upcoming plans, including a meeting with the caterers to solidify things tomorrow morning, a date with a "harper" (we're not entirely sure how she'll differ from a harpist), and trips to register sometime soon.  In fact, I can feel the roller coaster tipping back toward the speedy planning slope as I type this.

In parting, and as an apology for being so tardy with this post, I leave you with the "Charlotte and Nathaniel Pop Quiz."  Try your hand at some of our fun relationship trivia!

Go to the pop quiz!

P.S. If you'd like, feel free to give me a grade on this post so I'll have some extra incentive to come back sooner next time.

Something Blogged, Something Through

Tonight is the last night of the quarter, and so this is the last post I'm required to make for class. (Coincidentally, this also means that, after tonight, the only things standing between me and my MFA are a measly little thesis and a teaching assistantship next quarter! Yay!)

Despite that, though, I wanted to say that I'll stick around here if you guys will. It's been a lot of fun chronicling our wedding plans, and hearing all of your wonderful suggestions and insight! I might not be making my heretofore required two posts per week, or meeting any certain word limit, but I'll still enthrall you with all of the intricacies of getting hitched as long as you'd like.

I hope to see you all soon!

The Guest List Blues

In the suggested timelines in my bridal mags, picking a date, working out a budget, and settling on the guest list — I like to call them the Big Three — are always the first tasks. It's like these writers conspire to put you through the ringer right off the bat. More stressed out brides equals more magazine sales!

(This isn't my only wedding planning conspiracy theory, by the way.

As each new challenge pops up, I've been quietly wondering. . .

What if all of the planning hubbub was really invented by men

as one final test of their bride's ability to multitask,

exhibit grace under fire, and do the Macarena in heels?

It's possible!)

With our venues secured, Nate and I have finally managed to squirrel away the date, as you know. And our "budget" continues to teeter precariously in the realm of the doable. So, that's two of the Big Three... it's just the third that's still giving us trouble.

Not checking it twice.

We came up with a draft of our guest list very soon after the proposal. And despite a determination to keep it around one hundred guests, we woke up the next morning still blissfully engaged. I thought, at the time, that every other bride I've known was silly for complaining about her guest list woes.

And then it began.

A text message from an old friend. A sweet childhood memory including a relative you haven't seen in years. A new, wonderful acquaintance. All of these things in themselves lovely, but wreaking havoc on The List.

Havoc being wreaked.

Nate and I have tried a few different approaches to this problem. "Pencilling in" new additions. Repeatedly saying we'll give it a harsh going over, and never going over it. Wildly overestimating the number of regrets we'll receive. And meanwhile The List grows.

Our current philosophy is not to cut anyone, not to add anyone, and to tweak the budget in other areas to allow for adding per capita necessities like food and drink when needed. I sure hope this works!

The Mother of the Bride

Most of you know that my mother, Dale Jarrett, died three years ago. And most of you know how heartbreaking that was for me, and how I've struggled to recover from losing her. The last few years have been a slow and natural grieving process, one that I've undergone carefully, purposefully, sensing that my grief was like a broken bone and that, if I didn't set it right, it would cripple me for life. Gracefully, my wounds have been salved. I moved to a city I love. I got a sweet dog. And then, miraculously, I fell in love.

Mom and me when I was a little girl.

My life now is exactly the life of my dreams —only it's missing my beautiful mom. The past few years were full of a lot of painful emotions and sad truths, but none of them has been as difficult to grasp as this one: my mother won't be at my wedding. I can't help but agonize over how much she would love planning my wedding with me. How fun to pick out colors, decorations, and a dress. How special to introduce her to the man of my dreams. How good and sweet to feel her squeeze my hand on the big day. We spent so many of the lazy afternoons of my childhood daydreaming aloud about my wedding, I can hardly believe that now it's here and she's not.

It's been shocking, amidst all of the joy of our engagement, to discover these feelings of sadness juxtaposed with the excitement. But I'm not a novice at grief, and I know it will get better in time. I'm just trying to keep my head above water, to keep moving forward, and to remember all of the good. The good memories, the good life lessons, and the goodness of her.

Mom and me four years ago.

Luckily for me, this isn't hard. I'm surrounded by so many wonderful and loving people; it's easy to glimpse in them the kindness and warmth I so miss in my mother. My matron of honor was also the matron of honor at my parents' wedding, and being with her is full of cherished memories of being with Mom. My amazing and inspiring dad will be there to walk me down the aisle and to share a special dance — I think the first where I don't have to stand on his shoes. I know my best friends, my wonderful siblings, and Nate's incredibly loving family, too, will all make it such a special day, brimming full of love.

But still — I can't escape the fact my mom won't be there.

Nate, ever the wonderfully supportive partner, suggested we do something special during the ceremony in Mom's honor. I was thrilled at his suggestion, and, after a lot of brainstorming, decided a butterfly release would be the perfect tribute. Mom loved butterflies — and I think they loved her too. I've watched a lot of YouTube videos of these, and an alarming number of them involve reluctant butterflies clinging to the bride's veil, the groom's finger, or an obliging guest. But I think it's worth the risk — the moment of monarchs filling the air is a moment so much like my mother herself: beautiful, arresting, and full of the promise of flight.

A Midsummer Decorating Dream; part two

Aaand, we're back! I'll start part deux of the decorating saga by finally revealing our reception venue: a local film studio! We're really excited about the space, which is vast and labyrinthine, and has HUGE decorating potential. It's also a nice tribute to Nathaniel, since he happens to be a brilliant filmmaker as well as groom extraordinaire!

The only downside to our choice is the necessity to rent, well, everything. Tables, chairs, linens, china, and etc. But who are we to let a little thing like that stop us?

Anyway, the decorating show must go on!

Cinema

Given the venue, and given Nate's profession, another theme for the wedding will be all things film. My darling and brilliant friend Amy instantly started brainstorming table centerpiece ideas when I told her this, and I like where she was going. Antique film canisters, twirls of undeveloped film, pretty flowers... I'll pretty much be scouting (and asking my bridesmaids to scout) every garage sale and thrift store in town for miscellaneous film-related odds and ends from now until April.

Oscar and Emmy — such a cute couple!

The groom is responsible for this brainwave: Oscar and Emmy as cake toppers. How cute would that be! I think Emmy would have to put down her globe for a minute and wrap those arms around Oscar instead to really get the right cake topping vibe, which means we probably need a skilled friend to help us make the piece from scratch. (My Googling thus far suggests Nate is the first person to ever think of this, and we can't just buy one.) While I'm quite partial to cute, vintage cake toppers —

So lovely!

— I'd be more than happy to see Oscar and Emmy atop our nuptial dessert!

Balloons!

Here's one I'm totally excited about, probably out of all rational proportion. I really love the look a lot of weddings achieve with those beautiful paper globe lanterns:

Such a nice look!

But I'm afraid that'd wind up being a bit pricey. I'm also, inexplicably, bothered by the thought of not being able to do anything with all the leftover lanterns after the wedding.

Luckily, Martha Stewart inspired me with the above balloon picture, which I mistook for paper lanterns at first. Don't they look totally similar? Plus, the bounciness of the balloons just seems right for a celebrating atmosphere.

More awesome balloons.

That's it for now, wedding fans!

A Midsummer Decorating Dream; part one

Hello, wedding fans, and welcome to a two-part series on my new favorite theme: decorating!

I hope you all enjoyed my guest writer last week, and I'm sorry I haven't written since then. (Remember all that complaining I was doing a while back about how being engaged = being ridiculously busy? Yeah. That hasn't changed.) But I finally have some time now to sit down at the table, mug of green tea steeping, pup asleep at my feet, and dream with you about all things decorated.

The fiancé and I went by both of our venues this morning: the reception venue because he had to meet a business associate there (I tagged along to eye the surroundings and daydream about decorating some more) and then the ceremony venue to sign the contract!

As far as the decor...I have a lot of vague ideas and no definite plans. I also have champagne taste and a beer budget. But never fear, dear readers! Check out some of our schemes:

Fabric!

Nate actually came up with this one. Our reception venue has a decidedly industrial feel (which I actually think makes for cool juxtaposition with the pretty, soft wedding stuff), so the groom suggested getting long sheets of satin (or something far, far cheaper) in our colors to hang in ceiling-to-floor glory. It will be a great way to cushion the space and set our theme, and also create a sense of luxury with a teeny price tag.

Twinkly Lights!

Is anything more charming than the soft light of white twinkly lights? (Is that even what adults call them?) Since the reception will be at night, we're planning on putting these suckers all over the outside of the building, and probably along the ceiling inside, too. (What was that I just heard? The sounds of myriad friends volunteering?) The best part about this plan is that Christmas will come sooner than our wedding day, and you know what that means: after Christmas sales! I know I've seen boxes of twinkly lights for 99 cents at Target that week, and I plan to wipe out their stock.

Words!

Some of you might know that our dog got into the decidedly unfortunate habit of eating books, recently.

Bad girl!

But as I sunk to my knees one night, surrounded by the carcasses of such beloved works as The Little Prince, The Yearling, and Atlas Shrugged, a little voice in the back of my head whispered: Wedding decorations! I was pretty sure that little voice was crazy, but I saved all the salvageable pages anyway. I finally concluded that I could use them to make some sort of heart cut-out garlandy thing. After all, I am something of a word lover, and I’d love it if the wedding could emerge with a theme of words AND moving pictures (more on that in part two!). As soon as I came to the garland conclusion, I began to see them everywhere! For instance, the adorable picture above, or this one from Wedding magazine:

Sorry for the poor quality!

Stay tuned this weekend for more decorating fun, and please share any ideas you have for us below!